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GPT-4告訴你:各分?jǐn)?shù)段的一個典型雅思大作文主體段長什么樣

2023-07-28 19:46 作者:雅思老師Eric  | 我要投稿

對于雅思寫作的備考,了解自己當(dāng)前的水平很重要。 以一個大作文的主體段為例,如果老師給你的打分是6分,那你一定很想知道對應(yīng)的7分甚至8分主體段長什么樣子。

讓人類老師來做這個事情費時費力,會很辛苦,因為要按照你的原文的思想來改寫的難度是不小的。

但是,如果讓GPT-4來做,就是小菜一碟。

下面我下指令給GPT-4,讓它以“Fast food is harmful to people’s health --快餐對個人健康有害” 為主題分別給出5,6,7和8分的主體段,并解釋原因。

先是英文版:

Sure, I will provide examples of IELTS essay body paragraphs for band scores of 5, 6, 7, and 8.

The topic sentence for each paragraph is: Fast food is harmful to people's health.

1. **Band 5**:

Fast food bad. Make people sick. It got fats and sugar too much. Like, you eat burger, you get fat. Then you sick. Not good. Very bad.

**Explanation**:

This paragraph is quite basic and does not showcase strong language skills. The grammar, vocabulary and coherence are weak, and there's almost no development of ideas or explanation. Furthermore, it lacks examples or evidence to support the claim. The language is casual and informal, which is inappropriate for an academic essay.

2. **Band 6**:

Fast food, it's not good for health. It has lots of fats and sugars that can cause diseases. If you eat a lot of fast food like burgers or fries, you could become obese and this can lead to health problems. It's really bad for your health.

**Explanation**:

The paragraph shows a basic understanding of the topic and the language used is relatively clear. However, the language is still too informal for an academic essay, and there's a lack of complex sentences. The paragraph lacks detail and doesn't fully develop the ideas mentioned. There is an attempt to support the claim with examples, but the argument could be developed further.

3. **Band 7**:

The consumption of fast food can detrimentally impact one's health due to its high fat and sugar content. Regular consumption of such food items, like burgers or fries, could lead to obesity, a condition associated with a myriad of other health issues, such as heart disease and diabetes. The high-calorie content and lack of nutritional value in fast food makes it a significant threat to public health.

**Explanation**:

The paragraph is well-structured with a clear main idea and supporting details. It uses more complex sentence structures and more formal, academic language. There are specific examples given and the argument is developed reasonably well. The writer uses more sophisticated vocabulary ("myriad", "detrimentally", "consumption") and a variety of sentence structures. However, it could benefit from even more detailed argumentation and deeper analysis.

4. **Band 8**:

The adverse effects of fast food on individuals' health are manifold, primarily due to the excessive amounts of fat and sugar they typically contain. Regular indulgence in such meals, exemplified by burgers or fries, can trigger obesity, a growing public health concern that paves the way for numerous other health complications. These include heart diseases, diabetes, and certain types of cancer. Such illnesses are often chronic and can drastically reduce an individual's quality of life or even lead to premature death. Thus, the ubiquity and convenience of fast food, coupled with its detrimental health effects, pose a considerable threat to public health, demanding attention from consumers and policymakers alike.

**Explanation**:

This paragraph demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, with a well-structured argument and developed ideas. The writer uses complex sentence structures, high-level vocabulary, and formal, academic language. The argument is supported by specific examples and is analysed in detail. Additionally, the paragraph connects the issue to broader societal concerns and calls for action, demonstrating critical thinking skills. The paragraph maintains coherence and cohesion throughout, linking ideas smoothly.

然后給出中文版翻譯和解釋,方便同學(xué)們能更清楚和直觀的了解各主要分?jǐn)?shù)段的一個典型的主體段長什么樣和其中的差別:

1. **Band 5**:

快餐不好。會讓人生病。里面有太多的脂肪和糖。比如,你吃漢堡,你會變胖。然后你會生病。不好。非常糟糕。

**解釋**:

這個段落很基礎(chǔ),沒有展現(xiàn)出強大的語言技巧。語法,詞匯和連貫性都很弱,幾乎沒有發(fā)展的思想或解釋。此外,它缺乏例證或證據(jù)來支持這個說法。語言是隨意和非正式的,不適合學(xué)術(shù)文章。

2. **Band 6**:

快餐,對健康不好。它有很多脂肪和糖,可以導(dǎo)致疾病。如果你吃很多像漢堡或者薯條這樣的快餐,你可能會變胖,這可能導(dǎo)致健康問題。這對你的健康真的很不好。

**解釋**:

段落展現(xiàn)了對話題的基本理解,使用的語言相對清晰。然而,對于學(xué)術(shù)文章來說,語言還是太非正式了,缺乏復(fù)雜的句子。段落缺乏細(xì)節(jié),沒有充分發(fā)展所提及的觀點。盡管有試圖用例子來支持論點,但是論證可以進一步發(fā)展。

3. **Band 7**:

由于其高脂肪和糖分含量,快餐的消費會對健康產(chǎn)生不利影響。這樣的食品,如漢堡或薯條,的定期消費可能導(dǎo)致肥胖癥,這是與眾多其他健康問題相關(guān)的病癥,如心臟病和糖尿病。快餐中的高熱量內(nèi)容和缺乏營養(yǎng)價值使其成為對公眾健康的重大威脅。

**解釋**:

這段話的結(jié)構(gòu)良好,主要觀點和支持細(xì)節(jié)清晰。它使用更復(fù)雜的句子結(jié)構(gòu)和更正式、學(xué)術(shù)的語言。給出了具體的例子,論點發(fā)展得相當(dāng)好。作者使用更復(fù)雜的詞匯(如"myriad","detrimentally","consumption")和各種句子結(jié)構(gòu)。然而,它可以從更詳細(xì)的論證和更深入的分析中受益。

4. **Band 8**:

快餐對個人健康的負(fù)面影響是多方面的,主要是因為它們通常含有過量的脂肪和糖。像漢堡或薯條這樣的餐點的定期食用可以引發(fā)肥胖癥,這是一個日益嚴(yán)重的公共衛(wèi)生問題,為許多其他健康問題鋪平了道路。這些包括心臟病,糖尿病和某些類型的癌癥。這些疾病通常是慢性的,可以大大降低個人的生活質(zhì)量,甚至導(dǎo)致早逝。因此,快餐的普遍性和便利性,加上其對健康的有害影響,對公共健康構(gòu)成了重大威脅,需要消費者和政策制定者的關(guān)注。

**解釋**:

本段展示出對話題的清晰理解,有條理的論證和發(fā)展的觀點。作者使用了復(fù)雜的句子結(jié)構(gòu),高級詞匯,和正式的、學(xué)術(shù)的語言。論點通過具體的例子得到支持,并進行了詳細(xì)的分析。此外,段落將問題連接到更廣泛的社會問題,并呼吁采取行動,顯示出批判性思維技巧。整個段落保持連貫和凝聚力,平滑地鏈接思想。

本文涉及的指令均收集于雅思終結(jié)者ChatGPT指令集。

GPT-4告訴你:各分?jǐn)?shù)段的一個典型雅思大作文主體段長什么樣的評論 (共 條)

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