"Mom, who are these people?" It was an innocent question from my young daughter Alia around the time when she was three. We were walking along with my husband in one of Abu Dhabi's big fancy malls. Alia was peering at a huge poster standing tall in the middle of the mall. It featured the three rulers of the United Arab Emirates. As she tucked in my side, I bent down and explained that these were the rulers of the UAE who had worked hard to develop their nation and preserve its unity. She asked, "Mom, why is it that here where we live, and back in Lebanon, where grandma and grandpa live, we never see the pictures of powerful women on the walls? Is it because women are not important?"

“媽媽，這些人是誰?"， 這個天真的問題來自 我年幼的女兒艾莉婭， 大概在她三歲的時候。 我們當時跟我的丈夫一起， 走在阿布扎比的 某個高端商場里， 艾莉婭當時正在看一張 立在商場中心的大海報。 海報上是三位 阿聯(lián)酋的領(lǐng)導人。 由于她站在我身旁， 我彎下腰向她解釋道， 他們是阿聯(lián)酋的領(lǐng)導人， 是他們的辛勤努力， 國家得以發(fā)展昌盛，和平完整。 她問道：“媽媽， 為什么在我們住的地方 以及外公外婆住的黎巴嫩， 墻上從來沒有強大的女性的照片??？ 是因為女性不重要嗎?"

This is probably the hardest question I've had to answer in my years as a parent and in my 16-plus years of professional life, for that matter. I had grown up in my hometown in Lebanon, the younger of two daughters to a very hard-working pilot and director of operations for the Lebanese Airlines and a super-supportive stay-at-home mom and grandma. My father had encouraged my sister and I to pursue our education even though our culture emphasized at the time that it was sons and not daughters who should be professionally motivated. I was one of very few girls of my generation who left home at 18 to study abroad. My father didn't have a son, and so I, in a sense, became his.

這恐怕是我為人父母這么多年， 以及在我16年多職業(yè)生涯里， 遇到過最難回答的問題了。 我在我的家鄉(xiāng)黎巴嫩長大 我是家里兩個女兒中較小的那一個， 母親是一位辛勤工作的飛行員， 同時還擔任黎巴嫩 航空公司的運營總監(jiān)， 而她同時也是一位非常 顧家的母親和祖母。 我的父親常常鼓勵 姐姐和我堅持接受教育， 即便那時我們的 風俗仍然強調(diào) 只有兒子應該走上職業(yè)道路， 而不是女兒。 我是我那一代人里極少數(shù) 在18歲的年紀去外國讀書的女孩。 我父親沒有兒子， 所以，從某種意義上來說， 我成為了他的的兒子。

Fast-forward a couple of decades, and I hope I didn't do too badly in making my father proud of his would-be son. As I got my Bachelor's and PhD in electrical engineering, did R and D in the UK, then consulting in the Middle East, I have always been in male-dominated environments. Truth be told, I have never found a role model I could truly identify with. My mother's generation wasn't into professional leadership. There were some encouraging men along the way, but none knew the demands and pressures I was facing, pressures that got particularly acute when I had my own two beautiful children. And although Western women love to give us poor, oppressed Arab women advice, they live different lives with different constraints.

回溯過去幾十年， 作為我父親望子成龍的對象， 我希望我沒有讓父親失望。 我拿到了電子工程學 的學士和博士學位， 在英國從事過研發(fā)工作， 然后在中東做咨詢顧問， 我總是在一個 男性主導的環(huán)境里。 坦白地說，我從來沒有遇到 一個我所能認同的榜樣。 在我母親那一代， 沒有女性能身居要職。 一路上也有不少人鼓勵我， 但沒有人是了解 我所面對的需求和壓力， 特別是當我有了我兩個可愛的孩子的后， 壓力變得尤為難以承受。 而且盡管西方女性樂于給我們這些 可憐的，被壓抑的阿拉伯女性一些忠告， 但她們跟我們過著的 是完全不同的生活，不同的挑戰(zhàn)。

So Arab women of my generation have had to become our own role models. We have had to juggle more than Arab men, and we have had to face more cultural rigidity than Western women. As a result, I would like to think that we poor, oppressed women actually have some useful, certainly hard-earned lessons to share, lessons that might turn out useful for anyone wishing to thrive in the modern world. Here are three of mine.

所以，我那一代的阿拉伯女性 被迫成為自己的楷模。 我們不得不比阿拉伯男性更 顛沛流離， 而且我們比西方女性 面對著更多的文化束縛。 所以現(xiàn)在，我想起我們 那些可憐，被壓抑的女性， 實際上是有一些實用的 深刻的經(jīng)歷來分享， 這些經(jīng)驗也許就會給在如今 現(xiàn)代社會希望出人頭地的一些人， 一些實用的幫助。 接下來是我的三點經(jīng)驗。

["Convert their sh*t into your fuel."]

［“把他們的垃圾變成你的動力燃料”］

There is this word that everybody is touting as the key to success: resilience. Well, what exactly is resilience, and how do you develop it? I believe resilience is simply the ability to transform shit into fuel.

有一個詞語被每一個人 都用來售賣作為成功的關(guān)鍵： 堅韌。 那么，到底什么是堅韌， 你又如何培養(yǎng)這個能力呢？我相信堅韌是一種 將失意轉(zhuǎn)化成動力的能力。

In my previous job, well before my current firm, I was working with a man we will call John. I had teamed up with John and was working hard, hoping he would notice how great I was and that he would come to support my case to make partner at the firm. I was, in addition to delivering on my consulting projects, writing passionately on the topic of women economic empowerment. One day, I got to present my research to a roomful of MBA students. John was part of the audience listening for the first time to the details of my study. As I proceeded with my presentation, I could see John in the corner of my eye. He had turned a dark shade of pink and had slid under his chair in apparent shame.

在我之前的工作 那是現(xiàn)在的很久之前， 我和一個叫作約翰 的男人一同工作。 我和約翰是一個小組， 我工作極其努力， 期望約翰能注意到我很優(yōu)秀， 寄希望于他的認可能夠 讓我在日后工作中更加順利。 我除了完成我份內(nèi)的 顧問項目之外， 還充滿熱情地寫 關(guān)于女性經(jīng)濟賦權(quán)的課題。 一天，我要給一房間的工商管理研究生 對于我的研究作報告， 約翰也坐在下面聽， 這是他第一次了解 我研究的細節(jié)。 就在我報告演講進行中時， 我可以用余光看到約翰， 他的臉漲成了深紅色，而且尷尬地從椅子上漸漸滑下。

I finished my presentation to an applauding audience and we rushed out and jumped into the car. There he exploded. "What you did up there was unacceptable! You are a consultant, not an activist!" I said, "John, I don't understand. I presented a couple of gender parity indices, and some conclusions about the Arab world. Yes, we do happen to be today at the bottom of the index, but what is it that I said or presented that was not factual?"

我報告演講結(jié)束后， 觀眾給予了我掌聲， 我們迅速離開后鉆進車里， 在那里，他爆發(fā)了， “你剛才在那里所做的，是不可以接受的！ 你僅是一名顧問，不是一個激進行動者！” 我說，“約翰，我不明白， 我只是陳述了一些 關(guān)于性別平等的指數(shù)， 總結(jié)了一下當今 阿拉伯世界面臨的事實。 是的，我們今天 的確處在指數(shù)的底層，

To which he replied, "The whole premise of your study is wrong. What you are doing is dangerous and will break the social fabric of our society." He paused, then added, "When women have children, their place is in the home."

但是，我所說的或者是我所 呈現(xiàn)的有任何不符合事實嗎?” 他回答說， “你整個研究的前提就是錯誤的， 你想做的是極其危險的， 將破壞我們社會的結(jié)構(gòu)?！?他頓了一下，繼續(xù)說，“當女人有了孩子， 她們歸屬就是家庭?！?

Time stood still for a long while, and all I could think and repeat in the chaos of my brain was: "You can forget about that partnership, Leila. It's just never going to happen." It took me a couple of days to fully absorb this incident and its implications, but once I did, I reached three conclusions. One, that these were his issues, his complexes. There may be many like him in our society, but I would never let their issues become mine. Two, that I needed another sponsor, and fast.

時間在我們之間 凝固了很長一段時間， 在我一時混亂的腦海中， 我唯一清楚并反復的是， “我們之間的合作關(guān)系 到此為止了，力里亞， 以后再也不可能繼續(xù)了。" 我花費了好幾天的時間來完全 吸收這件事以及它給我?guī)淼挠绊懀?當我徹底想通此事時， 我有了三個結(jié)論。 第一，這些是他的問題， 應是令他棘手問題， 社會上也許會有 很多像他一樣的人。 但是我絕不會讓 他們的問題變成我的。第二，我需要另找合作方了， 而且要快，

I got one, by the way, and boy, was he great. And three, that I would get to show John what women with children can do. I apply this lesson equally well to my personal life. As I have progressed in my career, I have received many words of encouragement, but I have also often been met by women, men and couples who have clearly had an issue with my husband and I having chosen the path of a dual-career couple.

So you get this well-meaning couple who tells you straight out at a family gathering or at a friends gathering, that, come on, you must know you're not a great mom, given how much you're investing in your career, right? I would lie if I said these words didn't hurt. My children are the most precious thing to me, and the thought that I could be failing them in any way is intolerable. But just like I did with John, I quickly reminded myself that these were their issues, their complexes. So instead of replying, I gave back one of my largest smiles as I saw, in flashing light, the following sign in my mind's eye.

順便一提，之后我很快有了一個 合作者，一個年輕人，他很棒。 第三點，我要展現(xiàn)給約翰看 為人父母的女性所能成就的。 我將這次教訓也運用 在了我的個人生活中。 隨著我事業(yè)繼續(xù)發(fā)展， 我收到了很多鼓勵的話語， 但是我也常常遇到 很明顯對于我和我老公 雙事業(yè)家庭這樣的的選擇存在異議的男女以及夫婦。 所以，你會遇到善意的夫婦 在家庭聚會或是朋友聚會上， 直接告訴你， “你肯定知道你不是一個 很稱職的母親對吧？ 因為你對于事業(yè) 投入了太多” 如果我說這些言論對我 沒有傷害，那是不可能的。 對我來說，我的孩子 是我最寶貴的東西， 想想我若對不起我的孩子， 對我來說都是無法忍受的。 但就像我對待約翰一樣， 我很快提醒我自己， 這些是他們的問題， 他們棘手的事情。 所以我沒有做回復， 只以一個大大的微笑作為回應。 因為我在腦海中看到如圖的一個閃光。

[Be happy, it drives people crazy.]

(Applause)

You see, as a young woman in these situations, you have two options. You can either decide to internalize these negative messages that are being thrown at you, to let them make you feel like a failure, like success is way too hard to ever achieve, or you can choose to see that others' negativity is their own issue, and instead transform it into your own personal fuel. I have learned to always go for option two, and I have found that it has taken me from strength to strength. And it's true what they say: success is the best revenge.

Some women in the Middle East are lucky enough to be married to someone supportive of their career. Correction: I should say "smart enough," because who you marry is your own choice, and you'd better marry someone supportive if you plan to have a long career. Still today, the Arab man is not an equal contributor in the home. It's simply not expected by our society, and even frowned upon as not very manly. As for the Arab woman, our society still assumes that her primary source of happiness should be the happiness and prosperity of her children and husband. She mostly exists for her family. Things are changing, but it will take time.

For now, it means that the professional Arab woman has to somehow maintain the perfect home, make sure that her children's every need is being taken care of and manage her demanding career. To achieve this, I have found the hard way that you need to apply your hard-earned professional skills to your personal life. You need to work your life.

Here is how I do this in my personal life. One thing to know about the Middle East is that nearly every family has access to affordable domestic help. The challenge therefore becomes how to recruit effectively. Just like I would in my business life, I have based the selection of who would support me with my children while I'm at work on a strong referral. Cristina had worked for four years with my sister and the quality of her work was well-established. She is now an integral member of our family, having been with us since Alia was six months old. She makes sure that the house is running smoothly while I'm at work, and I make sure to empower her in the most optimal conditions for her and my children, just like I would my best talent at work. This lesson applies whatever your childcare situation, whether an au pair, nursery, part-time nanny that you share with someone else. Choose very carefully, and empower.

If you look at my calendar, you will see every working day one and a half hours from 7pm to 8:30pm UAE time blocked and called "family time." This is sacred time. I have done this ever since Alia was a baby. I do everything in my power to protect this time so that I can be home by then to spend quality time with my children, asking them about their day, checking up on homework, reading them a bedtime story and giving them lots of kisses and cuddles. If I'm traveling, in whatever the time zone, I use Skype to connect with my children even if I am miles away. Our son Burhan is five years old, and he's learning to read and do basic maths.

［快樂，使人力量無窮］

（掌聲） 你看，作為一個年輕女性 在這些情況下，你有兩個選擇。 你要么選擇吸收這些 扔向你的負面信息 讓它們使你覺得 你是一個失敗者， 就好像成功 對你而言遙不可及， 或者你可以選擇認為別人 消極的東西是他們自己的問題， 然后將它們轉(zhuǎn)換成 你自己的動力。 我總是選擇后者， 而且我發(fā)現(xiàn)它一次又一次的 讓我獲得力量。 有一句話說的是真的：成功是最好的報復。 一些在中東的女性 足夠幸運地和 支持她們事業(yè)的人結(jié)了婚。 不對，我應該說：“足夠聰明地”， 因為和誰結(jié)婚 是你自己的選擇， 如果你計劃一個長期的事業(yè)， 你最好和一個支持你的人結(jié)婚。 ［“解決生活中的問題， 去適時將工作從生活中拿掉”］ 直到如今，阿拉伯男人 在家庭里仍不是一個平等貢獻者 家庭的兩性平等是 不被我們社會所期待的， 否則男性甚至會 被嘲笑不是很男人。 對于一個阿拉伯女人 我們的社會仍然認為 她快樂的主要來源 應該建立在孩子和丈夫 的快樂和發(fā)展上。 她的存在主要就是為了家庭。

事情在有所改變， 但是這需要一些時間。 所以現(xiàn)在，這意味著 一個阿拉伯職業(yè)女性 莫名地就需要， 維持一個完美的家庭， 確保她孩子的每個需要 都能得到滿足的同時， 還要經(jīng)營她繁忙的事業(yè)。 為了實現(xiàn)這個， 我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個有力的方法， 你必須將你辛苦學到的職業(yè)技能， 運用到你的個人生活中去。

??你需要去解決生活中的問題。 這是我在我個人生活中所做的。 關(guān)于中東必須知道的一件事， 是幾乎每個家庭都會有一個 承擔得起的家庭保姆。 因此，挑戰(zhàn)變成了： 如何有效地雇傭？ 就像我在我的事業(yè)生活中所做的， 我在一個可靠的推薦中， 選擇了一名， 在我工作時間 能夠幫忙照顧我孩子的人選。 克里斯蒂娜為我的妹妹 工作了四年。 她的工作能力 是很高的。 她現(xiàn)在融入到我們 家庭成員中的一員， 自從艾莉婭6個月大的時候 就和我們在一起， 她確保我在工作的時候 家里一切事務井井有條， 我確保給予她一定的自由度 在對她和我孩子 合適的范圍內(nèi)， 就像我對待在工作中 最好的員工一樣。 這個經(jīng)驗可以運用到你任何一個 照顧孩子的情況里， 無論是一個互惠生，一個護士， 還是你和人共用的 兼職保姆。

都需要謹慎地選擇， 然后授權(quán)給她們。 如果你看我的日程安排， 你將會看到每個工作日 從阿聯(lián)酋時間晚上7點 到8點半的那一個半小時 被留出來，稱作“家庭時間”。 這是寶貴的的時間。 自從艾莉婭還是嬰兒時， 我就堅持做這個。 我會盡一切努力 去保護留有這段時間。 那么我可以在這段時間里 回到家里陪孩子們充實地度過， 詢問她們他們的一天過得怎么樣， 檢查他們的功課， 給他們閱讀床上故事， 然后給他們很多 親吻和擁抱。 如果我在出差， 不論在哪個時區(qū)， 我都會用Skype和我的孩子通話， 即使我在千里之外。?

我們的兒子布爾汗今年五歲，他正在學習閱讀和 做一些基本的算數(shù)，

Here's another confession: I have found that our daughter is actually more successful at teaching him these skills than I am.

(Laughter)

It started as a game, but Alia loves playing teacher to her little brother, and I have found that these sessions actually improve Burhan's literacy, increase Alia's sense of responsibility, and strengthen the bonding between them, a win-win all around.

我在這里要坦白一下： 我發(fā)現(xiàn)我們的女兒在 教授他這些技能上比我更成功。

開始是一個游戲，但是艾麗婭愛上了 給她的小弟弟扮演老師， 我發(fā)現(xiàn)在這過程中實際上 提高了布爾汗的讀寫能力， 增加了艾麗婭的責任感， 而且加強了他們之間的紐帶，一個雙贏的局面。

The successful Arab women I know have each found their unique approach to working their life as they continue to shoulder the lion's share of responsibility in the home.

我知道的成功的阿拉伯女性， 每個人都發(fā)現(xiàn)了她們獨特的方式 去經(jīng)營她們的生活， 隨著她們繼續(xù)去分享家庭的責任。

But this is not just about surviving in your dual role as a career woman and mother. This is also about being in the present. When I am with my children, I try to leave work out of our lives. Instead of worrying about how many minutes I can spend with them every day, I focus on turning these minutes into memorable moments, moments where I'm seeing my kids, hearing them, connecting with them.

但這不僅僅是關(guān)于 生存在你的雙重角色中， 作為一個職業(yè)女性和母親。 這也是關(guān)于如何活在當下。 當我和孩子相處的時候， 我試著將工作從生活中拿掉。 不去擔心我每天能 和他們在一起多少分鐘， 我將這些時間專注在 值得記憶的瞬間上， 在那些瞬間里 我看見了我的孩子，聽見他們，和他們產(chǎn)生連接。

["Join forces, don't compete."]

Arab women of my generation have not been very visible in the public eye as they grew up. This explains, I think, to some extent, why you find so few women in politics in the Arab world. The upside of this, however, is that we have spent a lot of time developing a social skill behind the scenes, in coffee shops, in living rooms, on the phone, a social skill that is very important to success: networking. I would say the average Arab woman has a large network of friends and acquaintances. The majority of those are also women.

［“凝聚力量，不要競爭”］ 我那一代的阿拉伯女人 在她們長大的過程中， 沒有在公眾眼里受重視。 這在某種程度上，我認為，解釋了 為什么你發(fā)現(xiàn)在阿拉伯 政界里的女人很少。 然而，這個現(xiàn)象積極的一面 是我們花費了很多時間 默默地培養(yǎng)出社交能力， 在咖啡廳里，在客廳里， 在電話里， 一個對成功很重要的 社交技能就是： 人脈。 我會說，一般的阿拉伯女性 有一個很大的由朋友和 熟人組成的人脈網(wǎng)絡(luò)，

In the West, it seems like ambitious women often compare themselves to other women hoping to be noticed as the most successful woman in the room. This leads to the much-spoken-about competitive behavior between professional women. If there's only room for one woman at the top, then you can't make room for others, much less lift them up.

Arab women, generally speaking, have not fallen for this psychological trap. Faced with a patriarchal society, they have found that by helping each other out, all benefit.

他們中的大部分也是女性。 在西方，似乎雄心勃勃的女性 常常拿她們自己和其她女人比較， 希望作為房間里最 成功的女性而被注意到。 這就形成了“職業(yè)女性” 都是爭強好勝的印象。 假如一山不容二虎，沒人會讓出她們的地盤， 更不會提拔她們的下屬。 阿拉伯女人，很大程度上說， 沒有陷入這樣的 心理陷阱中。 面對著一個由男性主導的社會， 她們發(fā)現(xiàn)通過幫助對方，

In my previous job, I was the most senior woman in the Middle East, so one could think that investing in my network of female colleagues couldn't bring many benefits and that I should instead invest my time developing my relationships with male seniors and peers. Yet two of my biggest breaks came through the support of other women. It was the head of marketing who initially suggested I be considered as a young global leader to the World Economic Forum. She was familiar with my media engagements and my publications, and when she was asked to voice her opinion, she highlighted my name. It was a young consultant, a Saudi lady and friend, who helped me sell my first project in Saudi Arabia, a market I was finding hard to gain traction in as a woman. She introduced me to a client, and that introduction led to the first of very many projects for me in Saudi. Today, I have two senior women on my team, and I see making them successful as key to my own success. Women continue to advance in the world, not fast enough, but we're moving.

大家都受益。 在我之前的工作中， 我是最資深的中東女性， 所以人們會想，在我的 女性社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)里投入 不會帶來太大益處。 所以應該投入時間在 發(fā)展我和年長有資歷的男性 以及同齡男性的關(guān)系上。 至此，我事業(yè)上兩個最大的突破來自于 其她女性的支持上。 一位是營銷部的領(lǐng)導， 最先提議 我應該作為一個年輕的全球領(lǐng)導者 去參加全球經(jīng)濟會談。 她對我的媒體參與和 發(fā)表很熟悉， 然后當她被要求 推薦人選的時候， 她強調(diào)了我的名字。 另一位是年輕的咨詢顧問家 一位來自沙特的女性朋友， 她幫助了我銷售 在沙特阿拉伯的第一個項目， 一個我發(fā)現(xiàn)女人 很難打入的市場。 她介紹我給一位客戶， 然后那次的介紹成為了之后我 在沙特很多項目的開端。 現(xiàn)在我的團隊里有 兩位資深的女性雇員， 我看到，使她們成功 也是我成功的關(guān)鍵。 女性會繼續(xù)開拓世界， 不夠快速，但是我們在前進，

The Arab world, too, is making progress, despite many recent setbacks. Just this year, the UAE appointed five new female ministers to its cabinet, for a total of eight female ministers. That's nearly 28 percent of the cabinet, and more than many developed countries can claim. This is today my daughter Alia's favorite picture. This is the result, no doubt, of great leadership, but it is also the result of strong Arab women not giving up and continuously pushing the boundaries. It is the result of Arab women deciding every day like me to convert shit into fuel, to work their life to keep work out of their life, and to join forces and not compete.

阿拉伯世界也是在取得進展， 盡管最近遇到不少障礙。 就在今年，阿聯(lián)酋新指派了 五位女性內(nèi)閣部長。 現(xiàn)在總共有八位女性內(nèi)閣部長。 那是將近28％的內(nèi)閣成員的數(shù)量， 而且比很多發(fā)達國家 聲稱的數(shù)量多。 這如今是我女兒艾麗婭 最喜歡的一張圖片。 這毫無疑問是 強大領(lǐng)導力的結(jié)果， 但這也是一個個 不屈不撓的阿拉伯女性 不放棄地堅持 開拓挑戰(zhàn)邊界的結(jié)果。 這是像我一樣的 阿拉伯女性決定每天 去將消極轉(zhuǎn)化為動力， 去解決生活中的問題， 去適時將工作從生活中拿掉， 去凝聚力量，而不是去攀比競爭。

As I look to the future, my hopes for my daughter when she stands on this stage some 20, 30 years from now are that she be as proud to call herself her mother's daughter as her father's daughter.

隨著我向未來展望， 我對我女兒的希望是 二三十年后， 她若站上這個舞臺， 她作為她父親的女兒， 也會很自豪地自稱為， 她母親的女兒。

My hopes for my son are that by then, the expression "her mother's son" or "mama's boy" would have taken on a completely different meaning.

我對我兒子的希望 是到了那個時候，“她母親的兒子” 或者“媽媽的男孩” 會有一個完全不一樣的意義。

Thank you.

感謝大家。