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三篇意識流詩歌,Carol Duffy風格嘗試

2023-02-13 18:35 作者:Tharpwryli  | 我要投稿

The Little Siren

At the end of scarlet dusk, before 16?o'clock.?

I clambered up the spumes of the last high tide

Sprawling, raging until devoured?

Underneath the shadow of metallic colossus.


You wheezed a pitchless verse from my far, far away?

Motherland in your human skin, crammed with?

gold and silver, burning my eyes as they?

Hizz all day screeching my voice.


In exchange for my heart and throat,

She sewed me into human skins, with human sins.

I try to sing with a lung full of tears

And what came out was shrills, not your fulfils.


Sew me in like your puppet dazzling in praises,?

And stretch me open with your hunger for fabricated?beauty.

At last, I feel you clutching my tongue my neck my feet my?

Mind til my last motif melted away in pain.


Stunning.

You said.


Goated Sins

They followed the?black sheep into the woods,

Holding their?licence to kill bred from their loathe.

One shot. It’s dead. The glassy eyes stare back.

They carried it back, trails and trails of blood dripped down?

Along their footsteps. One step, two, and three. Accusations?and

Shouted perceptions, for your black wool, for your demon-like eyes.


I guilted myself for the filthy outside I have,

You said it’s just my narcissistic twisted view.

You claim yourself with the title of a saint,

And I said nobility is not earnt by white furs.

Therefore in the name of righteousness, in the name of betrayal,

We hate we blame each other, we judge we shame each other.


I want to breathe, but you told me to stop.

I want to stop, but you told me to breathe.

Is living a sin, or is dying a sin? You threatened?

Me for both, and I know whichever I choose I can’t be saved.

So in this world judged by prejudice,?

I let you slowly suffocate me to silence.


Heaven-like

The first night of Christmas, followed by discontinued snowfall.

Feathers from afar settled in our land.

They trebled their choir while devouring upon our songs.


Second night of Christmas, unending hail pierced through the sky.

So all hail the flocks and our rightful monarch,

By whose will and whose word thou stand here?


And the third night at last, their anthem burnt the fallen race.

Sing for our regime, dance for our divinity! Perforate your throat for us!


We sang.


一些思路:

在第一篇上面投入了最多心血...標題the little siren捏它自the little mermaid 小美人魚,寫到最后卻貌似沒有致敬多少原作(。)16點鐘指的是許多國家女性的適婚/性行為合法等等的年齡(16歲)human skins with human sins這里摘用了Mili的String Theocracy里我很喜歡的一句。個人很喜歡最后一段連續(xù)的my...my...my...并且寫得很開心,刻畫了一個被物欲橫流的世界所包圍,在其中掙扎沉溺最后每一寸肌膚都在窒息的角色形象。

第二篇是捏它自撒旦的黑羊形象,和西方文化中‘替罪羊’這一說法。創(chuàng)作原因是想對當代網(wǎng)絡(luò)荒謬典故進行一些情緒價值的抒發(fā)。第一段特意用了十分不規(guī)則的斷行,表達一種混沌和不確定感:在這個為自己所悲傷會被譴責為自己所驕傲會被嘲諷,為凋零中的玫瑰無微不至又為充滿活力的生命縛上繩索的黃金時代,每個人都是披著黑色羊毛的活靶子,每個人也都是端著獵槍尋找著‘黑羊’的獵人。而第二節(jié)因為是理性的自我審視因此為十分規(guī)矩的工整斷行。當然審視完后發(fā)現(xiàn)僅是些無用功后誕生的無力感就自然而然地從最后一段的you threatened后的突然斷行涌出來。對比其他兩篇言語更為直接,總得來說我寫得很爽。

最后一篇算是從naz1和dcai這塊取了點靈感。因為想把宗教的圣潔本質(zhì)和一些很不堪的但同樣有潛力演化成破壞力極大的狂熱行為聯(lián)系在一起。至于為何如此沒有原因,大概只是想試試看會不會很酷。而當時正好被Twelve Days of Christmas洗了腦,圣誕節(jié)學校科學院那塊整了個持續(xù)12天的解密小游戲,每條post都以‘in the xxx day of christmas...'開始。因此這篇就用了相似的格式——想傳達頌歌相似的即視感。不過應(yīng)該可以看出來這篇是投入了最少時間的233。


所有不規(guī)律的斷行都是在有意模仿詩人Carol Duffy的enjambment(跨行連接)風格。

三篇意識流詩歌,Carol Duffy風格嘗試的評論 (共 條)

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